@iGreenMonk: Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
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@jctwritesstuff: *walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*
@fabulouscop: *man with beerbelly waiting outside elementary school* *teacher walks towards man* "are you expecting a child?" "no thats from all the beer"
@BGH70: Girl at restaurant: Hey, I like your shoes. Me: Thanks! I'll tell my feet. [Smooth, Brian. Well done!]