@iGreenMonk: Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
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@ehdannyboy: Before pulled pork, pork just used to stand on the edge of the dance-floor, nodding to the music and looking cool.
@KKenuz: my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems
@topaz_kell: [getting murdered] Me: "Could you please stop for a second?" *gives murderer a Snickers