@charliedelta7: Don't be offended if I speak to you condescendingly. Be happy that I care enough to be sure your simple mind understands what I'm saying.

@GloriaFallon123: A woman told me at dinner she liked me because I'm "not afraid to eat bread"--so I'm done with socializing for at least a year thanks

@10InchesPlus: The hoodie & shorts combo outfit, because you almost understand how body heat works.

@notalogin: [God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up] Ugh, first world problems.

@Adyaces: Her: Is my new concealer working? Me: Who said that?