@jessokfine: When someone says "women like you" to me, I assume they're referring to extremely powerful wizards.

@austen_420: Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time

@funflaps: Saint Waddle is the patron saint of pancakes and ducks. She loved to flip the bird.

@AntozWolf: I ask myself, "How did I get here?," I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

@TragicAllyHere: A mongoose is just a goose who listens to reggae