@_NTFG_: COP: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
ME: "So it wouldn't be windy when we talked."
@Brentweets: Halloween combines my 3 least favorite things: Answering the door, giving away food and children.
@motrboatr: Thanks, but it's spelled "sexiest", not "sexist". Stupid woman.
@elle91: My Internet was out for a while so I went downstairs to talk to my mom. She seems nice.
@JeffSarcastic: All rooms are panic rooms if there is no iPhone charger
@GloriaFallon123: I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen