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@daemonic3: Cop: Know why I pulled you over?
Cop: Oh ok nevermind
@BrooksErrDay584: *1st date*
[Be cool, just dont let her know youre a 1st generation PS3]
So where do y-
*internal cooling fan drowns out entire conversation*
@shutupmikeginn: 'Pampers' is a good product name because it implies being able to poop in your disposable underwear is a great luxury
@cervixsmash: The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave
@SuadShamma: "The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."
@dave_cactus: *approaches a girl, tips hat* M'lady.
*approaches a material girl, tips hat* M'donna.