@illuminatedwndr: cop pulls me over 2nite. comes 2 my window n asks, Cop: "do you know y i pulled u over?" Me: "because Batman is catching all the criminals"
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@dumbbeezie: Way down on the bottom of the twitter user licensing agreement in tiny font it says "Say goodbye to your family"
@buhsbaby_baby: Remember how they drove in 90's TV sitcoms...the horribly fake steering wheel turning - left right left right? That's how I actually drive.
@iAmDelFreaky: Me: So, hypothetically speaking, if we were dating would I get any free food? Her: Uh, excuse me? Me: *sigh* #1 combo with cheese, please.