@illuminatedwndr: cop pulls me over 2nite. comes 2 my window n asks, Cop: "do you know y i pulled u over?" Me: "because Batman is catching all the criminals"
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@brianbowman73: I think this lady I'm stalking just found out. She changed her wifi name to: "Hey you in the tree. I've called the cops."
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in.
@WritePlay: *Dino-Jesus preaching to the dinosaurs* "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." *Asteroid crushes Earth* "Dammit Dad."