@Test_of_Steron: Copied tweets with higher no. of RTs remind me of tht incident when Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest n came 3rd.
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@SardonicTart: I'm glad my office has this giant shredder because otherwise I don't know what I'd do with all this work.
@cheeky__gal: I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can't tell because I'm eating Doritos.
@ArfMeasures: ME [Puts up "Have u seen my dog?" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome
@JediGigi: Therapist: You try too hard to get people to like you Me: [painting her toenails] I need a "for instance"