@NotKarma: Cops don't like it when you ask them "Need some help?" especially when you're wearing a Batman costume.
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@chimneyspotter: DR: Are you sexually active? ME: Very DR: Eating donuts alone in your car doesn't count ME: Still yes DR: Neither do croissants ME: Then no
@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion
@dance_blessed: The club can't even handle me right now. Like, the club's just had a very emotionally draining day and the club's been in a weird place.
@SirEviscerate: My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. Now she's a pearl diver in the Philippines & can afford her own damn dessert.