@stuzario: Court her the old fashioned way by doing late night burnouts in front of her house
@RunJeffreyRun: I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
@topaz_kell: Beer foam is the opposite of memory foam.
@heatherlou_: These people act like they've never seen a woman eat a whole rotisserie chicken before.
"What's wrong honey?"
My bad knee is acting up again.
*knee robs a gas station*
@badbanana: A national monument to those brave online heroes who were "First!" in comments.