@maymay72x: Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money's worth... Just saying.

@kelkulus: What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this!

@Tw1tter_K1tten: They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.

@MensHumor: Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn't.

@BavlyOlwy: Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..