@turtledumplin: Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he's going to the clinic for a 'work related' injury.
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@nd_L_: If only the person that named “walkie talkies” had been in charge of naming so many more household objects.
@egg_dog: don't eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather
@daemonic3: WAITER: Ready to order? ME: First, I'd like to hear the chef's special WAITER: Oh yes he's very special [chef in background sheds a tear]