@Adam14: Coworker: I have a degree in History. Me: That'll really come in handy if life starts going backwards.
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@alyssawolff: *sees a woman struggling with a big suitcase up the stairs* Me: Need help with that? Her: Yeah! Me: *gives her a hug* You got this, girl.
@BPMbadassmama: I know exactly how President Obama feels. Every time my kids are forced to listen to me, they make angry Republican faces.
@13spencer: I just found out that "Birdman" has nothing to do with Hawkeye, and now I want to see it.