@Adam14: Coworker: I have a degree in History. Me: That'll really come in handy if life starts going backwards.
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@chelliet22: Two days ago: omg, I'm so glad I found my watch, I'll never misplace it again! Today: *has zero clue where the hell my watch is*
@XoMiSsYoX: Told my coworker to shut up or I would slash his tires. He laughed, I laughed. Now I'm by his car with a knife and I can hear sirens. :(
@gavinpivott: I was in a flash mob once. We'd mainly just hold people at gunpoint until they updated their Adobe.
@Book_Krazy: Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand.