@AristotlesNZ: Coworker just asked me if I'm "working hard or hardly working" & now I'm standing over him asking if he's "bleeding bad or badly bleeding?"
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@audipenny: friend: let's meet up soon me: *in the crow's nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though
@OfficialMizGin: Years ago I went to a job placement agency. I left disappointed. Apparently nobody offers temp work as an astronaut.
@FilthyRichmond: My kids are mad at me because I never unwrap the cheese slices in their sandwiches