@CM2BTTHD: CPR refresher class. We're told, "If they're not breathing, there's no way you can make it worse." Woman then trips; kicks dummy's head off.
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@Kyle_Lippert: Black Friday is the Christian holiday where Jesus rose from the grave at 4am to get in line to purchase a discounted HDTV for his Father.
@Connan22: I will force my way into an inside joke and kill the fun before I let two people laugh about something I don't get.
@IamEnidColeslaw: a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds
@Mikecanrant: *Pauses Titanic during the most romantic part* *Turns to GF* "You know, Contra was really easy. But I still liked using the 100 life code"