@animadvertguy: [Sky-diving] INSTRUCTOR: pull your shute! ME: my shoe? INSTRUCTOR: your parachute! ME: my pair of shoes? [later] CORONER: where's his shoes?

@kashanacauley: Obama's gonna take all your decorative soaps.

@HanaMichels: I've yet to find a romantic comedy that speaks to me. Maybe if they set it in an institution or an Arby's restroom.

@tropicalenvy: I'm woman enough to admit when you're wrong

@_Water_Baby: The ostrich may have the right idea but I hate sand in my hair.