@EricGoldie: Crocs are suicide notes you can wear.
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@silent_musings: My friend used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.
@Reverend_Scott: The year 2932, lines for the new iPhone are so long, many die before reaching the end. Those who do, get back in line for the next phone.
@DrCat_MD: [cat clinic] DR. CAT: What seems to be the problem? CAT: Me-ow DR. CAT: You need to be more specific
@rantingmd: googling ways to dispose of a body,mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen