@Cpin42: Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can’t help thinking...I’ll never have abs like that.
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@mattgallo123: My third bottle of wine was able to "breathe" for a few hours when I opened it at 3am and passed out on the floor.
@CourtneyBale: Narrator: Here we see the Me: Here we see the N:...gazelle in M: the nature program narrator N: THE GAZELLE IN ITS M: WHOSE FOREHEAD VEIN IS
@Talkbackatme: I just got unfollowed by a woman that just started following me yesterday, so I guess I just had my first one night stand on twitter.
@_davidlucas_: The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently.