@Cpin42: Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can’t help thinking...I’ll never have abs like that.
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@KrangTNelson: JERRY SEINFELD: so what's the *deal* with airplane food ME (whispering to my date): it's actually called "jetfuel"
@ImaFlyontheWall: Me: So you're an Atheist? Him: Yup! Me: So what year is it? Him: 2015 Me: based on how years are counted after a certain birth?
@KeetPotato: [reading message i found in a bottle that drifted onto the beach] to myself: "updog.. what's updog?" [another bottle hits my foot]