@stevevsninjas: Current anger level: I am last-beer-in-the-fridge-turns-out-to-be-a-soy-sauce-bottle angry.
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@noogscorner: Maybe that neighbor without a Wi-Fi password isn't an idiot. Maybe he's generous. And an idiot.
@ericsshadow: DOCTOR: *holding $5 bill* what's this for? ME: it's a tip DOCTOR: okay, but you still need to lose weight ME: *hands him $20 bill*
@WheelTod: The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear.
@Rlpihl: [Family Feud] What's your answer?! *whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people