@stevevsninjas: Current anger level: I am last-beer-in-the-fridge-turns-out-to-be-a-soy-sauce-bottle angry.
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@KKAlThani: A cop stopped me & asked "do you know why I followed you" so I said "cause my tweets are funny" & we laughed & high-fived & I'm in jail.
@Miniwheats2012: My version of "naked and afraid" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise.
@iGreenMonk: I always carry a mushroom with me, just in case my enemy shows up & I need something to make me bigger.
@FrogAvalanche: *live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes.