@Kunk7: Current forecast: 3-6 inches of 🔥🔥🔥🔥
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@Bandersnaaatch: A fun thing to do is sit on the couch with black buttons over your eyes while your kids watch Coraline, then wait for them to notice.
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
@MamanyaDana: That awkward moment when I give a guy a fake phone number and he tries to call it in front of me.. #OhShiiiit