@topaz006: Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnLyonTweets: Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
@DancesWithTamis: I'm so bad at making decisions that whenever I hit a yellow light I scream, open my car door and throw myself out
@CooIStepDad: [running from cop] *cop catches me* "Get on the ground or I'll taze ya" *pulls jellyfish from pocket* "Look they were all out of tazers"