@BromanConsul: cute girl just saw me try to walk and drink water at the same time so dating her is off the table now
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@valerie_tosi: In the Phoenix airport & I just heard a guys laptop say "you've got mail". Pretty sure I've landed in 1998.
@icrushedmyhalo: Boss: Lunch meeting, let's go. Me: Do I have to? Boss: Free food and unlimited alcohol. Me: *moonwalks to the car*
@jake_lach: Apparently, if she's refused to speak to you for two days your text should not be 'Why are you mad again?'