@BromanConsul: cute girl just saw me try to walk and drink water at the same time so dating her is off the table now
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@Epygma: Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says "buy me some time" and the guy goes and buys him a clock
@PetrickSara: I’m not saying I know how to solve all the world’s problems. I’m just saying we should give women pants with pockets and see what happens.
@Ndeshi_M: Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!! Label reads: Guaranteed whiteness in only 14 days... 15 days later and I'm still black.
@Tups13: Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies.