@radtoria: Cute guy: Is this seat taken?
Me: (ok, play it cool) No. *smiles*
Him: *takes chair away*
@abbycohenwl: *releases helium-filled heart balloon*
Me: You're free now
Balloon: Ima choke a bird
@CarpentersCrack: I like to stop drinking somewhere between "watch this" and "ohhhhhh shit".
@wendchymes: I'm smarter than I look. I was gonna say -more intelligenter- but wasn't sure how to spell it so...
@shanethevein: Don't you love followers that don't acknowledge your existence.
Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
@Reverend_Scott: GOD: They scared enough?
ANGEL: Not yet
GOD: You got Trump running?
GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.