@radtoria: Cute stranger: *smiles at me*
Me: *already imagining who will get custody of the dog*
@prodigis: *to commander*
Don't say anything too loud sir I suspect one of our men may be a plant
*conspicuous tree in admiral uniform starts to sweat*
@Tmoney68: Me: I can't get this star on top of the Christmas tree without a ladder, without dumping it over & ruining it.
Whiskey: Yes you can.
@NicestHippo: The first judge ever was like "When I'm done talking I'll pound my desk with a hammer" and we were all "Ok that's not insane"
@trims_the_fat: None of this is appropriate for anybody. Take the 18+ out of your bio.
@TheAlexNevil: All the king's horses and men stand over Humpty. Puzzled, they go back to reading the IKEA instructions.