@ItsLaTourette: *cutting the sleeves off a snuggie and calling it a thuggie*
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@joshandbeyond: Dad: There's no use crying over spilled milk son. Me: But dad it was tequila! Dad: What!? *cries immensely*
@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: Whatever you say will stay inside these 4 walls ME: A ghost THERAPIST: What?! Why [looks round, scared] why would you do that?!
@3sunzzz: If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup.
@thetits: COP: do you know why I pulled you over? ME: *hands him a puppy and drives off* [3 years later] COP *walking his dog*: wait a second…