@ItsLaTourette: *cutting the sleeves off a snuggie and calling it a thuggie*
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@KevinFarzad: Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf.
@TylerLinkin: Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater.
@stephenjmolloy: [Pharmacy] Me: I need 50 packets of condoms Pharmacist: Somebody has a busy weekend! *I wink* *cut to me making raincoats for my pet snakes*