@CulturedRuffian: Cyber Monday is probably my favorite holiday to get paid to do my Christmas shopping at work.
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@WilliamRodgers: I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby, but I have no clue how to make an iPhone.
@TheHyyyype: superman villains: darkseid - galactic conqueror doomsday - indestructible killing machine batman villains: the joker - tells little jokes the riddler - poses little riddles the penguin - is a penguin
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Hey guys. Stop touching your wife's pregnant belly in pictures. We get it, you came in her.
@CrazyUncIeJoe: How girls put on their pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg*, '' Wiggle*, *Wiggle*, *twerk*, *Jump*, *Jump*, *Squat*, *Stretch* Done.