@AceMakesWords: "Dad, we need to talk." "Alright." He grabs a chair and sits. "Dad, you-" He grabs yet another chair. "DAMMIT DAD YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CHAIRS"
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@lazerdoov: Call your boring friend Simon, "Sighmon" he'll never know the difference and you can laugh about it with your cool bros over beers.
@MadamBetteNoire: Dance like you aren't depressed. Sing like you didn't kill that homeless guy. Love like you don't have herpes.
@ghostkrogh: [pearly gates] st peter: welcome everybody- *i run up and slam dunk an imaginary ball thru his halo and then hang on it like it's the rim*