@tdwyer618: "Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?"
"He didn't do his 1st grade homework."
@Freudianscript: Someone told me to settle down, & I wasn't sure if they meant for me to calm down, or buy a house & start a family.
@BigHeb7: I've been saying I'll sleep when I'm dead for so long, I'm starting to really look forward to dying.
@BuckyIsotope: My dad left for cigarettes and never came back so I'm going to trap a new one
@heatherjs: Why does everyone want me to come out of my comfort zone? I worked really hard to get there.
@redherringbear: I now pronounce you slowly and phonetically.