@KKAlThani: "Dad, why did your generation find a fat guy singing in Korean & pretending to ride a horse entertaining?" "I don't know son, I don't know."
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@Laser_Cat: *gets pulled over* Do you know how fast you were going? *pulls string* *inflates emergency mustache* Oh sorry officer. You're free to go.
@SharkJelly: Friend: Will we be hearing the patter of tiny feet soon? Me: *grabbing her arm too hard* You know about my squirell army
@Parkerlawyer: Opposing counsel licks his thumb every time he turns a page in his file and basically I didn't even know this rage inside me existed.