@amishschool: * Dalai Lama goes on killing spree after listening to my coworker eat soup *
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@Wakenbake77: I'm not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn't looking, I can turn water into Sprite.
@Underchilde: If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after.
@Book_Krazy: Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat
@DaddyJew: Me: so what are you wearing sexy? Collection agency: umm...we'll just call back tomorrow