@amishschool: * Dalai Lama goes on killing spree after listening to my coworker eat soup *
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I shout "PIZZA'S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm eating two pizzas by myself.
@iwearpajamas: My girlfriend talks to her dog like it's going to talk back. Kind of like when Christians talk to God.
@Sorrowscopes: Gemini: You may find yourself wondering if you're dreaming or not. A simple test is to punch a cop in the face.
@adamhess1: So if Humpty Dumpty is an egg, what species is the thing inside him? Another egg? "No I mean do you have any questions about the job?"