@amishschool: * Dalai Lama goes on killing spree after listening to my coworker eat soup *
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@mc_funbags: I'm exactly like Rocky in that, I challenge people to fight while I'm slurring my words.
@LizHackett: I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head.
@jackie_ibbyxo: If you yell Bloody Mary into a mirror 3 times at 3AM, as loud as you can, your mom will appear and tell you to shut up and go to bed.
@KyleMcDowell86: I don't like using the locker room at the gym cuz the guys always stare when they notice my gym bag is filled with lasagna