@amishschool: * Dalai Lama goes on killing spree after listening to my coworker eat soup *
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@simoncholland: You should be able to make your GPS call you a code name. "Bobcat, in 3.1 miles turn left" "Recalculating, Bobcat, you're going rogue."
@byrdie_num_num: Haven't worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven't poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years.
@AndyAsAdjective: I can't prove it, but from the sound of it, I'm pretty sure there's an injured dolphin stuck in my dishwasher.