@MartaEffing: Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything.
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@MondayPajamas: My cleaning lady always leaves me a list of supplies she needs to clean the house. Not sure what she needs 20 boxes of cold medicine though
@ag_loco: How to keep a man happy: 1) Phone him 86 times a day 2) Wail hysterically 3) Be needy 4) Never sleep with him 5) Buy yourself shoes
@DurtMcHurtt: *attaches canes horizontally to dozens of old man walkers *watches slowest jousting match ever