@minnie_in_pink7: Damn boy, is your name Dulcolax because you irritate the shit out of me.
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@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.
@thegreatnanak: Me: I gotta find a purpose in life. Later: Blowing a feather trying to keep it in air
@Darlainky: "Sorry about this, but I ran out of allergy medicine and it's spring," I say to the frightened pharmacy clerk through my hazmat suit.
@edfoxcomedy: "On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you're in charge." - my advice to new teachers