@minnie_in_pink7: Damn boy, is your name Dulcolax because you irritate the shit out of me.
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@shanethevein: Funny how bullies only bully people who are susceptible to bullying. They don't bully people who'd throat punch em without thinking twice.
@TheBoydP: I was shocked as an adult to learn that the crisscross pattern made with a fork on a peanut butter cookie was not a family secret.
@PaperWash: Things more likely to kill you than Ebola: - choking on a wheat thin - erotic asphyxiation - falling off the toilet - a duck with a gun
@david8hughes: [job int] "& what are your strengths." Me: lions "Lions?" Me: I'll take [lion walks by the office] I- [quietly] I'll take on any lion