@dksc4life: Damn, girl, are you a customer looking for a great deal, because my clothes are 75% off.
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@13spencer: Everybody is a kid of some decade, but "90's kids" are the only ones who are annoying about it.
@BoomBoomBetty: [sneezes and shoots my tampon out so hard it sets off another false missle alarm in Hawaii]
@RyanHolmquist: Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed Trump: I'm gonna be the president Castro: well then
@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: You wouldn't believe the day- *puts TV remote to my ear* Hello? Hey Bob- [hand covering remote] -sorry honey, I have to take this.