@thejayroyal: Damn girl, can I get all up in that? I'm sorry, where are my manners. MAY I get all up in that?
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@Teeter_Totter: I don't care how hardcore you are. If you don't cry when Dumbo visits his mommy in elephant jail, you have no soul.
@ShawnIzadi: Walked into the bathroom and it sounded like someone was powerlifting in one of the stalls. That, or an exorcism.
@Andrea__B__: Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
@pleatedjeans: I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem