@boring_as_heck: Damn girl, is your dad an astronaut? Because I'd like to meet him. Please let me meet your astronaut dad.
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@imence2: I love the smell of a camp fire. It reminds me of the night we kille....nnn.....I just love smell of campfires.
@jctwritesstuff: [Zombie Apocalypse] Him: Pack your go-bag. No nonessentials. Me: K Mascara Record player Albums Like 4 of his hoodies Vodka Charger Katana 800 thread count sheets Books Cheese *dies*
@ShaunRightNow: I'm married, yet the only person that willingly goes down on their knees in front of my crotch is a 72 year old suit tailor named Pablo.
@Faux_Ma: At my job interview today the Boss said, "You're shaking, don't be so nervous." So I told him, "Oh, I'm not nervous, I'm an alcoholic."