@CanadianCyn: I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast.

@Elena_may_tweet: My kids gave me a headache so I left them a scathing review on Glassdoor.

@ddsmidt: You would think my neighbors would appreciate me petting their dogs every day. But nooooo, they’re too worried about how I keep getting into their house.

@KalvinMacleod: As the pair of scissors steps up to the starting line, the other runners quickly realize that this race just got a whole lot more dangerous.

@PinkCamoTO: The woman beside me is reading a cocktail recipe book like a novel and I'm pretty sure I found my soul mate.