Damn girl, is your dad an astronaut? Because I’d like to meet him. Please let me meet your astronaut dad.

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@boring_as_heck: Damn girl, is your dad an astronaut? Because I'd like to meet him. Please let me meet your astronaut dad.

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@Paradis_Jane: Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte

@JasonLastname: I'm so hungry I could Instagram a horse.

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@Jason_Horton: WHO

@Tommytoughstuff: *Crosses fingers* *Fingers plan their revenge*

@dave_cactus: "Your finest Scotch, please." "Yes, sir," the guy at Staples says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape.

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