@electrolemon: damn girl, you got a butt that WON'T QUIT *butt pulls out a knife* wait, no- *butt stabs me* no, stop- *butt doesn't stop* ...et tu, bootay
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@HiddenPinky: [Home after awful day at work, my dog greets me] Me: At least somebody's happy to see me! Dog: *shakes head, pulls banana from pocket*
@EJGomez: kanye west: beyoncé is the best there is & she's one of the few true artists of our generation me: kanye: me: how did u get in my room again
@1Happytwit: I was highly offended until I realised HR were calling me incompetent and not incontinent.