@electrolemon: damn girl, you got a butt that WON'T QUIT *butt pulls out a knife* wait, no- *butt stabs me* no, stop- *butt doesn't stop* ...et tu, bootay
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@Adam14: My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with
@Parentpains: Weird, my coworker has bragged all day about his pending vacation and now his headlights have kicked themselves in.
@LaetPO: Marriage is so disrespected as an institution nowadays that soon brides may be tossing the groom and keeping the bouquet.