@LoneWolfStories: Damn you autocorrect for making me look like an idiom. Always trying to make a tool out of me.
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@AristotlesNZ: So sick of not knowing if a girl's single. We need a symbol "Rings?" Not visible enough "Screw it, lets put a dot on their foreheads" -India
@KevinFarzad: Fellas, here's a flirting tip: If a girl plays with her hair while taking to you, it means she has lice and you should stay away from her.
@stevezorz: Facebook now tags fake news stories from sites like The Onion with #satire to protect users who lack 1st grade critical thinking skills.
@Death_Buddy: Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus: 1. They give awesome hugs 2. They have no skeleton 3. Every date is at the aquarium