@LoneWolfStories: Damn you autocorrect for making me look like an idiom. Always trying to make a tool out of me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RunwayDan: At any given time, I know more about the whereabouts of my Amazon packages than I do any member of my extended family.
@wittwitbarista: By allowing my children to play their music & video games loudly, I'm able to get candy out of its wrapper into my mouth unseen.