@nefariousPeterD: Damn, you know you're getting old when you get up in the morning and have to rest for awhile
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@tastefactory: "What're you in for?" "I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it." "We've all been there, brother."
@Midgetspar: My teenage daughter is TRYING to say, "I miss you dad, please take me fishing." But it keeps coming out like, "Hey, can I have $20 dollars."
@robfee: I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass.