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@carlyken: [The Twitter Breakdown of 2015] Angry mobs storm the streets, forcing clever wordplay down the throats of unsuspecting, innocent bystanders
@Marlebean: Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Truth or dare I: M: I:.. Dare M: I dare you to give me this job I:(under breath) Damn she's good
@WheelTod: If it takes 13 muscles to smile and 33 to frown, how do we tell if someone's happy and not just lazy?