@OneFunnyMummy: Dance like no one's watching & cook like someone else is cleaning up that shit.
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@TheAlexNevil: 5: Daddy, can we go get ice cream? Me: I don't see why not. 5: Mommy said I couldn't. M: Hey, there's the why not.
@thejessbess: I'm rubber. You're glue. I don't conduct low voltage electricity. You're great for arts & crafts.
@juliussharpe: At the coffee shop, I saw a German guy reading the first few pages of a book about WWII and smiling. Keep reading, buddy. Keep reading.
@VerifiedDrunk: I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,