@JermHimselfish: Dance like nobody's watching. Paint like your girlfriend doesn't text you too much. Sing like you didn't struggle with algebra in 9th grade.
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@KalvinMacleod: DOCTOR: studies show that social media use reduces attention span ME: that's hard to believe DOCTOR: are you checking your phone? ME: what?
@psybermonkey: Friend: you've been acting weird ever since you won that hundred dollars Me: what ever do you mean, old sport?
@retardedwriter: This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd "Shona baby"
@Marlebean: (opens door) Me: Staff meeting soon CW: GET OUT! M: Nice carpet CW: SHUT THE DOOR! M: Can I borrow some toilet paper? The next stall is out.