@VanVeenB: Dance like nobody's watching you.
'Cause they're not.
@thisislizz: Are we done? Can we go?
@TheTweetOfGod: On one hand, eating meat is bad for your body, bad for animals and bad for the earth. On the other hand, bacon.
@Ryncasaurus: "You're an alcoholic."
I prefer the term 'bar-barian'
@Mr_Kapowski: McDonald’s Employee: Sir, your kids are not welcome at the Play Place
Me: How dare you
*one of my goats pops its head up from the ball pit chewing a child’s hat*
@JohnLyonTweets: Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.