@VanVeenB: Dance like nobody's watching you.
'Cause they're not.
@mostunladylike: [Record Shop]
Me: Hi, have you got anything by the Doors?
Shopkeeper: No, we have to keep all exits clear in case of emergencies.
@PaperWash: [First day as a private investigator]
*Forgets to turn off camera shutter sound
@Ignorant_Indian: Dating Tips.
C all her 69 times a day.
R ing her doorbell and hide.
E avesdrop by phone tapping.
E ye her bffs.
P oke her on FB.
@internetluke: [first date]
Me: don't let her know you're a lizard
Her: why did you just say that?
Me: (gets scared and loses my tail but I grow a new one)
@OarackBobamaa: Biden: Eric Trump, you ugly...
Obama: Chill Joe..
Biden: You ya Daddy's son!
Obama: Ayyyye !