@DamonHunzeker: Dandelions are just like regular lions, except they wear ascots.
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@SirEviscerate: ME (a ghost): You know how Bill Nye used to say "don't try this at home"? Well, I did, and he kicked in the door and shot me in the face.
@robin_991: Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a good chat. Unrelated, there are 1273 Cheerios left in this box.
@MrsMikePatton: I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.