@robfee: Dang girl are you the American health care system because if I don't give you all my money you'd have no problem watching me die.
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@maurex23: WINDEX CEO: listen, I can't have you making puns anymore. EMPLOYEE: okay, I just want to make things clear-- CEO: you're fired.
@HousewifeOfHell: Kids' complaints on vacation: - No wifi on beach - Sand is sandy - Ocean has salt in it - Lobsters? I want pizza. - Too outdoorsy outside
@Parkerlawyer: *6 holding a 5 hour energy* "Look at this teeny juice! It didn't taste good at first but I finished it!" Go ahead, have kids.