@robfee: Dang girl are you the American health care system because if I don't give you all my money you'd have no problem watching me die.
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@truegritrumble: ME:John's coming over for dinner. WIFE:Work John or Been to Europe John? JOHN:*from outside* This door reminds me of one I saw in England.
@ojedge: [Blackstreet Bakery] Me: [watching the baker kneading dough] "I love the way you work it" Baker: "No diggity?" Me: "Baguette up."
@weinerdog4life: I don't think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her