@Dwarven_Cleric: Darth Vader: "Listen Luke, this is a new arrangement for both of us. Let's not force things. Just let me know if you need a hand."
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@sween: If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them.
@SwedishCanary: I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving
@ThisOneSayz: "So I go east? Then west? Then back east?" ~ Me, drunk and getting directions from the inflatable stick figure in front of a car dealership
@sixfootcandy: You're supposed to pee on a Jellyfish sting and not a jelly stain? Well that was really embarrassing.