@TheWoodenslurpy: I can tell so much about a person just by guessing.

@sarousti: Definition of Insomnia: Finding a spider in your bedroom & when you leave for a second to get the spray & come back it's gone

@WheelTod: I never understood why parents teach their kids to wave at passing trains: they could do that to pedestrians or cars just as easily But if you give the finger to the people on the trains, there’s nothing they can do about it — they can’t stop. It’s that that makes trains special

@Only_Fast_Eddie: This hot fudge sundae hasn't killed me so it must be making me stronger.

@MCaparco: Jesus??? Nah, Vishnu is my copilot...he's got like 4 arms.