@UNTRESOR: Date etiquette: The smaller fork is a salad fork. Use the larger fork to eat the salad fork.
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@LaLuchaNix: [Pulling brother's life support plug] *whispers in ear* "This is for that time you cheated at Monopoly."
@JoParkerBear: Kanye West tweeted that Bill Cosby is innocent? This is the last straw. He just lost my vote in 2020.