@DaddyJew: Date: you've already made me laugh, you can do no wrong
Me: challenge accepted.
@rockymomax: [i bite into an apple and a swarm of bees comes flying out]
"this gives me an idea for a restaurant"
@Brentweets: San Andreas is just like Godzilla only Godzilla is invisible
@weismanjake: I wonder if celebrity couples have a list of 5 average citizens each of them are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the chance
@HuajatollaChic: At least dogs look at you when you're talking with them as if to say, hell yeah I'd talk to you, but I'm a dog.
@EJGomez: judge: any last comments?
me: i request to die by electric chair
judge: ur here for a speeding ticket
me: my request still stands