@DaddyJew: Date: you've already made me laugh, you can do no wrong
Me: challenge accepted.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Can't.. arguing with someone who thinks phone internet and internet internet are two different internets.
@Crutnacker: Obama: The Galaxy Note 7 wasn't recalled because it was too secure.
Biden: Just let him enjoy my gift, Barack.
@1followernodad: You were the hot single in your area the whole time.
@ElgatoEsmio: Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
Friend: I'm just lucky, I guess. Nothing ever embarrasses me.
Drunk Me: Challenge accepted.