@DaddyJew: Date: you've already made me laugh, you can do no wrong
Me: challenge accepted.
@thetobbie: The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
@__candypants: Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL.
@NotARatsAss: Tried to make a video seductively licking the frosting from an Oreo, but got excited and ate the whole thing. Twenty times.
@johnbcrist: I just texted a friend a super hilarious meme and all he did was give it a thumbs up. I've never been more angry.
@ChaseMit: "Fine, I'm sorry, you win, just, please stop crying." - my rap battle opponent