@mdob11: Dating is easy. You just *goes into fetal position*
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@T_Bonezzz: When I go shopping I like to buy condoms and cat food at the same time just to confuse the cashier
@AmishPornStar1: Just refilled my Smartwater water bottle with regular dumb water... So far, nobody can tell the difference.
@FatBottomGirl1: Acupuncture for weight loss huh? I've had little pricks before, and they never helped me work off any pounds.
@chuuew: ME: I'm so hungry I could greet a horse FRIEND: "Eat" a horse ME: No watch this. Hello Mr horse HORSE: [gives me a taco]