@shkeeber: Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many.
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@flashember: [Courtroom] Lawyer: It wasn't the fall that hurt you? "No sir, it was...THE GROUND!" *courtroom erupts* *handcuffs are thrown on the ground*
@daemonic3: [at therapist] I don't know, sometimes I just feel invisible Therapist: WHO SAID THAT?!?
@LaraineBaker: My daughter put on a princess dress and asked if I had any "play pretend" outfits so I put on workout clothes.