@shkeeber: Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many.
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@badbanana: Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
@AimeeHelene1: Me: You won't believe the dream I had last night! I slapped you in the face with a hot pizza. Him: M: *looks down* *sees pepperoni all over*
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Wanna role play? Wife: Sure ;) Me: You be the chef/waitress and I'll be the custom..WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!
@JessObsess: You really only have 2 options: 1. You can be miserable bc you're fat 2. You can be miserable bc you're hungry