@mydanimarie: DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you're too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they've probably had diarrhea at some point
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@daimonic0: If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too.
@CarpeAngela: I just watched the girl next to me google "lack toast and tolerant symptoms" Symptoms: you have no toast but it's totally tolerable.
@glo_stevens: Mama said there'd be days like this, and also "knock you out" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk.
@sixfootcandy: Sorry I sprayed bug spray in your face. Those fake eyelashes scared the hell out of me.