@EJGomez: dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more
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@AmateurIdiot: If I insisted on getting my kids to bed by 7:00 every night, I'd have to start their bedtime routine just after breakfast.
@leehopkins: Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class.
@lawyerthoughts: Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around "the law". Judges don't like it.
@Cheeseboy22: My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him.